


A Ton of Advice

by AwatereJones



Series: Walter Verse [29]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alt Verse, F/M, Family, Gen, Humor, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:20:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 20,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: So ... you asked for it. Ton asked for it and Ianto is never one to disapoint one of his children. Ton is writing a coffee-table book of advice, bright pictures with his personal quotes to help those in need of some advice Toninator style. LOL





	1. "Never pass up the chance of cake!"

 

Ianto looked up from the laptop, his glasses on the tip of his nose as he studied his son. "Really?"

"Yeah, I don't care what order the other things go in, advice changes depending on when you need it and don't want to hear it and stuff but that one has to be first and foremost. If they only read one of my thoughts it has to be that one!" Ton nodded. "Put a picture of a cake behind it and I want the words really big."

"OK love" Ianto said with amusement, showing Ton some cake pictures the boys had taken over the years and he chose one, the words in white in front of the bright cake frosting.

Ianto had been unsure of this whole 'write a book' thing Ton had started to talk about but as time went on he knew it was going to be a happening thing, even if he had to pay to get some printed himself for Ton to look at and feel accomplished.

"Cake is important" Ton said again, leaning in to make sure his Taddy saved it in the right folder then he sat back with a look of satisfaction. "You know … this writing thing is hard. I see why you got mad at me the time I wanted to sing for you while you were trying to finish a chapter for the publisher."

"Yes. That was a difficult day for both of us, I know you enjoy singing for me" Ianto smiled softly, "And it was a Cake day as I recall. Daddy got that sponge one."

"Yeah!" Ton sighed, "Cake is sooo important. We have them at baby showers, baby births, christenings, birthdays, Christmas and at the funeral we have the last cake we will ever share with that person. Cakes are like … like … milestones."

"Milestones" Ianto repeated with a roll of his eyes.

"Yes. You have cake, feel good and more on until the next one" Ton nodded, "everyone needs cake."

"Cake makes the world go around" Ianto said with a soft smile, "Certainly makes it a sweeter place."

"There you go, you are getting it Taddy, well done" Ton praised his Taddy, "You might get this writing thing too."

Ianto hid his amusement as he checked the time, then rose to get tea started.

Yeah.

There was cake.

* * *

 


	2. "I think Parentals should always answer a question a child has, even if it's to say 'I don't know let's look it up' or something. We get angry if we think we are not being told the truth"

 

Ton was swinging on his chair as he considered then pointed at his Taddy. "Like you taught me how to use the voice command for Google. Google is a wonderful thing. Some people don't talk to each other, they don't even tell the truth. Can you believe that? No telling truths. It's not right."

"Sometimes people don't know the answer or the answer is not nice so they don't want to say it oit loud and make it true" Ianto explained, "Not everyone understands that children can understand big problems sometimes or if they don't at least they know it is something not their fault."

"Yeah. That's true but saying 'Because I say so' is a cop out" Ton sighed as he looked at the pot on the stove, "Is that tea?"

"Yes, want to help cut the potatoes?" Ianto rose and watched Ton rush to get his apron on, the offer to help cook a big thing and as he did Ianto wondered who had used that phrase with him. Ton needed answers even if they were vague. He needed to know he was being looked at.

Heard.

"I like that you ask me questions love, it means you trust me to tell you the answer" Ianto said as he watched Ton cut the potatoes into slices, and then place the slices on the casserole. Ton had his tongue between his teeth, making sure it all looked pretty like Taddy did it, the rose pattern starting.

"Lovely" Ianto purred, patting his son's shoulder, "Remember why?"

"So the juice can escape along with the steam. If we don't layer it with some room it might lift up then sort of volcano everywhere" Ton said as he looked at his handiwork with pleasure.

"Well done" Ianto smiled as he agreed.

"Yeah. Knowing things is important" Ton agreed.


	3. "Labels are for things like baked beans and beetroot."

 

Ianto was weeding, glancing at Ton who was reading the paper with a look of annoyance, "I mean … They both come in a can, both are yummy but seriously, they are what they are. You don't label all dogs as Badger. They all have their own names right? Like us? All dogs are different, like people are. Labels are wrong because if you are given the wrong label you might believe it and become the thing they say you are. Look at Babs, if she believed she was a boy she might never have been herself, right? Stuck as the wrong person."

"So this is going in your book is it?" Ianto asked softly and Ton nodded.

"Yes, good idea. Yes. People need to know these things." Ton said after a while, "you know … I hate being called 'special' or 'handicapped' when I am not."

"You are not? Not even a little special?

"Of course not silly, "I am a Ton"

Ianto smiled at the weird logic, withholding his right to point out that that might be a label too. After all, it was a nice one like the label Taddy. Some labels are OK in the end.

But there was only on Ton.

* * *

 


	4. "Every day is like a box. It's up to you to decide if it's either gonna be a gift or a coffin"

 

Jack swung to look at his son with surprise, "Ton, that's a bit deep isn't it?"

"Graves are too" Ton said sadly as he looked out the window at the memorial garden. "Imp is a good guy, I love him ya know? He's my brother but it still sucks that he didn't get to have his mamas. They were trying to make it a gift that day, it was fun and exciting and then it sort of … got turned off. Life is like that. Up, up, up, boom."

"It's like Bugs Bunny always says" Ianto joined the conversation as he closed the book he had given up reading and Jack looked at his husband with open affection.

"What's up doc?"

"No!" Ianto laughed, "Don't' take life too seriously or you will never get out alive!"

Jack blinked, then stated to laugh, "That was Bugs? Really?"

"I like that one" Ton smiled, "But it's not mine. It's a good one, mind. Bugs knows things. He has survived so much, a man doesn't beat the naughty coyote and his dynamite and stuff that many times without learning a lot of life skills. Not to mention Elmer and his gun. Always hunting rabbit."

"True" Ianto placed the book down and rose to head to the kitchen not caring the road runner and bugs bunny seemed to be the same guy moonlighting two jobs or something, "Snack?"

"Yes please Tadda." Ton said happily, then he leaned back, "Can we get a rabbit?"

"Casserole?" Jack asked and Ton looked at him with horror, Jack realising a beat too late that the rabbit was as a pet, not food. "Really? Don't we have enough animals around here?"

Ton went to answer and Ben came running though the house naked, followed by Imp and Penny, also naked with hats on. For the sun, no doubt.

"Sunscreen" Curtis was yelling as he ran after them, the baby in a front pack waving happily at them like this was no big deal "Come here you hearth scummers, get your arses covered at least! Red bums are only for baboons!"

Ton blinked and looked at his father with a nod "Fair enough."

They followed Ianto to get some food, Curtis now visible outside still chasing the children, Penny the only one slathered in white creamy protection.

Animals.

But they knew it was all a gift, right?


	5. "If life gets boring create some crazy all by yourself"

 

Imp stood admiring himself in the mirror as Ton topped off the outfit with a large feather boa. Pink of course.

Penny was decked out in as many peals as his little neck could hold, the bright pink lipstick and the tiara slightly askew but other than that he was quite pleased with himself. His underwear was white today so it didn't change the overall impact of all the pink and white peals. He looked super.

Ben was on the bed in a silk kimono, lying back struggling to get some stockings on and his white boa was waiting for him. They were gonna dance, apparently Babs had said you can only dance with boas and they wanted to dance. Babs was used to them playing in her stuff and had one part of her wardrobe that was allocated as dress up so she wouldn't mind sharing. Like a good Babbit, it included both gender for extra craziness.

Imp was not so sure about the sequinned top that was like a dress on him or the scarf to tie it around his waist but the hat was good. Definitely good. "Not bad."

"Now … if only the shoes were the right size. Shoes are tricky things" Ton muttered as he knelt and pulled out some boxes, "Did you know … some hurt her feet but she wears them anyway? How bloody mad is that? Why wear something that hurts?"

"Girls are weird" Imp agreed, "I don't wanna be one. All that shaving!"

"Yeah" Penny said then frowned "Shaving?"

"Yeah, their faces don't have beards right?" Imp said with a roll of his eyes as Penny considered this and snorted, "And I see how hairy legs are … not girls. They shave them too. Babs sez it takes ages, especially to get the back of their legs."

Imp considered and then tried to do it, pretending to scrape with a finger as he twisted and contorted.

"That's bloody mad!" Ben said from the bed, one foot still in the air, "You look like a right divvy doing that."

Imp shrugged, "This entire thing is mad ya know, I can't wait."

"See?" Ton expained as he straightened up with some fluffy slippers, "Life does not have to be boring. If it is, do something about it. Create some crazy for yourself."

"Thanks Ton" Ben said as he finally got his goods right in the stockings and stood to jangle about a bit, "Ya know … I think I need a crown too."

"Good man" Ton agreed reaching for a tiara.


	6. "Be polite to people even if they are not polite to you because it's not about how they act that matters, it's how you act that you will remember"

 

"Move!"

Ton turned in time to see Penny get shoved by a fat girl and as he fell against the shelves Manny's daughter stood up from her little chair behind her counter to attack in his honour but Penny smiled and stood again, bowing to the girl "Thank you for the short trip!"

Ton blinked, then started to snigger as the girl blinked as well, then her face changed to one of anger for a moment before she squeaked with shock as her mother yanked her back by her collar, "I saw that! You apologise Heather. Crispin was in line waiting to speak to Heaven-Lee and you were rude. Now!"

"It's OK" Penny said politely, smiling up at the lady, "I don't mind Mama Lady. Heaven-Lee will wait for me, she is my friend."

"Oh aren't you adorable" the woman sighed, "I wish my children were as sweet."

"All children are sweet" Ton entered the conversation, "Just some are a bit sour too."

Everyone laughed softly as Heather hung her head.

After they had left Ton took Penny under his arm in a hug "You did the right thing. Everyone will remember that she was horrid and that you were a good boy. That's why you will be invited to birthday parties and she will not. Remember, you need to be the person you are supposed to be, let her be whoever."

"I see her at school and she is a real bully. No one likes her" Penny whispered as Ben started to slide around shelves to watch them walking down the street, Walter watching the entire altercation in silence. He then watched Ben as he rubbed his chin, the universal sign of deep thought.

"Be polite to people even if they are not polite to you because it's not about how they act that matters, it's how you act that you will remember" Ton finished his speech and turned to Ben, "Whatcha thinking?"

"Maybe she is mean because she doesn't know any better. She is not a happy girl. Maybe if she was happy she would act nicer" Ben said as he looked at his lovely Daddy "Can I add her to my birthday party list?"

"Really?" Heaven-Lee asked with surprise "She's a cow."

"But she might need friends to learn how to be nice" Ben argued, "She doesn't share, doesn't act nice because she doesn't know how. She is never invited to places to play."

"Maybe" Heaven-Lee folded her arms as she looked at her friend "But if she is mean to one of you again I'll smash her!"

"Fair enough" Ton nodded, "She might learn that it hurts and not smash others anymore."

"Yeah" the little Jamaican princess smouldered with rage as she yanked Penny into her arms for a hug.

No one picks on her besties!


	7. "Always say thank you for a gift, even if it's not the one you want. It might be what the giver really likes."

 

Ben accepted the brightly covered gift and smiled as he stepped to one side to let Heather in and she ran for the back of the house where the other children were all screaming with glee. Ben looked at the gift and placed it with the others, then headed out to watch as Heaven-Lee narrowed her eyes and pulled her older sister back to let Heather pass, the other children all scattering like a sheep dog charging up the middle of a flock.

Walter walked out and yelled, "Presents! And we have food! Let's all get something to eat and Ben can open gifts while we all eat, yeah?"

"YAY"

Soon they were all settled and Ben came to Heather's one, her face lighting up as she watched him carefully open the paper, folding it to one side like he had seen Grandy do, then he opened the box and stared in at the glass figurine.

He blinked.

He lifted out the fat little pony sitting on its butt like a dog and everyone laughed as he held it up, the deep red glass glistening in the light.

"Wow" he said softly "Its … I've never had anything like it. Did you choose it Heather?"

"Yes, Mama told me how much I could spend and he was a little more so I used extra pocket money. He's just right!" she gushed happily.

"Right" Ben said slowly, looking at Ton who had counselled him earlier to say thank you and act pleased so as not to hurt feelings, "It's really cool. Thank you Heather, I will find somewhere special for him."

"I have one too, my Nanny got him for me before she died. Mine sits on my windowsill. If you put yours on your windowsill they can see each other across the village and be friends too" she gushed, Ben seeing that it meant a lot to her and he smiled.

"Poppy? I know you said no one was to go upstairs but … can just me and Heather go up for a sec while everyone eats?" he asked and Curtis nodded, following them up and watching with heart wrenching pride as Ben let Heather place the glass ornament so it could 'see' hers.

"Now our horsies are friends!"

"Maybe it means we are too" Ben said as he hugged her gently, "What a wonderful thing, friends who live so far and yet are able to see each other just like that. Maybe … maybe like us, they will be best friends now."

Heather hugged him tightly as she squealed with glee.

Finally.

She had a real friend.

Curtis was so proud he might explode.


	8. "If you do a bad thing, it does not mean you are a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes"

 

Heather nodded as she accepted a hug from Ton as well, his warm arms so big and squishy. It felt good.

"At school, please try to be nicer and people will be nicer back. They will see that you are nice" Ben said as he stepped back for Penny to get a hug now, "We like nice people, so do you right?"

"Sorry" she sighed, "I am grumpy sometimes. It's just … me ears hurt and everyone is so shouty."

Ton frowned then went to find Uncle Owie who was sitting with some food, "Hey Tonny. Cake soon?"

"Yeah, Heather sez her ears hurt and that's why she is so mean to people" Ton said without preamble, "Is that a thing?"

Owen rose and motioned to Tosh who went out to get his kit for the back o the car, returning to watch as he crouched and examined the little girl's ears. He then sat back, "Sweetie, do your ears hurt all the time or just after you had a bath where your head went under the water, yeah? After a swim?"

She looked at him like he was magical and nodded, "Yeah."

"Gromits" Ianto said softly, "she needs gromits. She is getting water in her inner ear?"

"Yeah" Owen rose, "Poor little thing, no wonder she's grumpy. Must ache like a bas…..ket."

"Nice save" Curtis snorted as he lent down to let the baby on the floor and she squealed, Owen lighting up, "Ahhh, amazing Grace. How sweet your sounds."

"Come on love" Walter said as he saw the little girl grimace at the baby's loud squeal, "How about you help me with the cake. You can help light the candles and we will carry it out. Everyone will have to be quiet for me to carry it."

She hurried after him, her hand clutching at his jacket and Curtis watched with concern, "Is she going to be OK?"

"Might just need them cleaned out but if the water is a reoccurring problem gromits will fix it" Owen assured him, "I'll talk to her mum when she comes to get her. Sleep patterns will have been upset to. Explains her disposition."

"Good man" Ton said as he hitched up his pants, "Now if you will excuse me, I have to supervise that cake."

Ianto scooped the baby off the floor and she squealed again, kicking happily as he kissed her little cheeks and walked through to the madness in Walter and Curtis' main room.

Owen waited for that mother.


	9. "If cake was a drug, I would be a pusher"

 

Curtis was trying not to giggle as he and Walter prepared the cake, lifting it to carry it out and Ton checked the frosting once more before nodding and walking through to bellow at everyone to get out of the damned way, cake coming through.

All he needed was a stick, his gaze prodding enough as people scattered and he walked like the ringmaster.

It was a car, like his Daddy's convertible and Ben loved it, squealing and clapping as it was placed down, then he looked at Ton who nodded like a mighty king letting a minion have a go. Ben blew the candles out and they all sang, then Ben cut the cake. Walter and Fen snapped away with pride, both men grinning as Curtis cuddled Ben from behind, his big day.

"That was the bestest cake for him" Heaven-Lee said to Penny as she sat with him, both eating from the same plate, "Ton is like … a Cake Master."

"If it was a drug, I would be selling it on the corner like a pusher" Ton agreed form beside them "Aunty Gwen would have to arrest me but she likes chocolate ones so I could buy my way out again."

"And if this was a life sized car you could drive off then eat it!" Heather agreed, Ton smiling as he found that he quite liked her after all.

"Yeah, but all those doggie chasing you for a bite … how loud would that be all that barking" Ton replied.

She laughed, letting her head fall back and Penny cuddled against her "You have nice hair."

"Oh!" her eyes widened with surprise, then she pulled him into a hug "Thank you Crispin."

"My friends call me Penny" he whispered "You can if ya like"

She liked.

A lot.

Ianto turned to watch Heather's mother hover in the doorway watching her daughter, no doubt expecting a problem or two. He watched her face light up as she saw her daughter happy, finally accepted.

Ianto felt for her, it must be terrible to have a child not friends with others, to fear.

He made a mental note to try to help more. After all, a little guidance now would mean less problems later.

Ton laughed, shoving more cake onto her pate and she shone as she thanked him.

Nice manners after all.


	10. "If you look for things to celebrate you will find a lot more thing that are worth celebrating"

 

Ton assured Heather as he hugged her at the door, the goodie bag clutched in her hands, "I always look for a reason for cake. You know … almost every day can be a cake day. You gotta look for the good stuff, you will find less bad stuff then."

She was nodding as she took the advice and the poor mother turned to Ianto "Thank you so much. I have always feared she would be a bully with no friends her entire life. Unfortunately my Mother-in-law was the same."

"As much as Imp there is like me … he is still himself and I try not to compare us all the time" Ianto counselled "If you tell her she is naughty she will think she is and act accordingly. Try more praise instead of scolding. You might be surprised as the change. Look at Ton, he works with love. All he works with. For him to tell someone off it must be a hanging offence. Everything else is taken as something to think about and turn around."

"I will try" she nodded, "We tried sticker charts and stuff, money jars …"

"Nothing beats a cuddle and some warm praise" Ianto assured her, "It will help your relationship with her as well. She will remember that you are there to guide her, not criticise"

"I've not seen her so happy, the touching and companionship is just so … so lovely really" she sighed.

"Well, next weekend we are having a BBQ before the weather gets too cold. Come, bring your husband" Ianto encouraged "She will be able to ride a horse, we can't do that today as there are too many children to make it fair."

"Oh! She loves horses!"

"I figured" Ianto smiled back and he offered his hand to help her down the steps, such an old fashioned thing to do. As she slid her hand into his she was reminded of her own father, his gentle warmth and knew how lucky she was to have found this spot for her child.

They said he was a Child Whisperer.

Now she saw why.

Heather sang and skipped all the way home, not a single stomp.

A good day.


	11. "Something that is just a chapter for you might be a whole book to someone else"

 

Ben nodded as he watched Ton carefully place his cake in a tin for safekeeping "You know Benji Man, Heather really needs friends. I think she is so sad. Today was just a little of her, lots of friends. For her it was a big day with lots of Penny and you to love her. You might not remember talking to her in a few years but she will always remember the day she wasn't hated anymore. Must really feel horrible to not be liked by anyone"

"I like the glass thingee" Ben agreed "She put thought into it. Not like Gregory's water balloons. You don't like balloons, I told them all that!"

"It's OK, I liked watching from behind the glass doors" Ton assured him, touched that Ben had been annoyed for him even if it meant he was going to reject a gift had Ton not assured him it was OK.

"Did you see Grampy fall over?" Ben started to laugh as he re-enacted Jack slipping in the mud.

"He was a good sport, right? Him and Uncle Owen were pretty good shots too" Ton agreed.

"You see? By next week Grampy will have forgotten about the dog poo on his back when he fell in it but Harrison will laugh for weeks over that. Grampy's chapter is a whole book of giggles" Ben sighed "I love my family. We are all mad, right?"

"Stark Raving!" Ton agreed "Wonderful isn't it?"

"Are you really writing a book with Grandy?" Ben asked, sitting on a chair.

"Yes. Taddy is so clever, there are cool photos from Walty and Fen with my words. It's called an Inspirational Quote Book" he smiled "apparently some people don't know how to be happy and they buy books to help they learn. Taddy sez I am a natural"

"You are!" Ben assured him as he stepped in close, "Tonny, you are more than one book for me ... What's a lot of books called? Like … five?"

"TADDY! WHAT DO YOU CALL FIVE BOOKS IN A SET!"

"A pentalogy" Ianto said as he walked over, "Why?"

"That!" Ben pointed "Ton is at least one of those."

"Ahhhh … Ton, you are an entire library for me" Ianto crooned as he stroked a little cheek "Limitless information at my fingertips. So wonderfully packaged."

Ton shone.

A book day for sure.


	12. "Only a fool says they know everything, no one knows everything. A clever man says he is learning something new"

 

Ton placed the birthday card down, shaking his head "Wilson is a douche."

"Why did he write that about himself, he really tries to sound important but he just sounds like a dick. He does that a lot, saying it will not make it real!" Ben agreed. "It was a weird thing to write … 'to the boy who needs everything from the boy who knows everything' … I mean was that a dig at me being adopted?"

"Only Taddy knows everything … well … everything worthwhile. He is still learning, he sez the day we stop learning is the day we die!"

"Makes sense" Ben nodded "Grandy is so clever but always says if he doesn't know then we google it. I like the voice one."

"YES!" Ton said with glee "and she has a nice voice!"

"Yeah! Being allowed to ask Google questions is so cool … and it speaks back! Grampy has the coolest gadgets. Aunty Toshi gets them right?"

"She gets all the good things for us … I am so glad we can share" Ton sighed happily, "Learning is important. Taddy sez no one is stupid, just not learned. You shouldn't make fun of someone who acts wrong because they just don't know any better."

"Like Heather" Ben said as he considered "She doesn't know how to be a friend coz she's never been one."

"Exactly, we have to show her and forgive her when she is a douche. She doesn't know any better. Tell her when it is wrong and tell her you forgive her. All she needs" Ton suggested "Then she will not feel bad. She will know you still like her."

"Is it a girl thing?"

"No, Papa John was a douche for a long time. I heard Taddy say one day that he was gonna kill him" Ton sorted, "But he forgave him. He said he forgave him because he was stupid. See?"

"But he had leant not to piss off Grandy" Ben saw what Ton was saying "Grandy loves him now."

"Exactly!"

"Man, you are so clever"

"Yes, but I don't know everything" Ton said sagely, looking out the window with a look of importance "I am not a fool. I am a Ton."

"A Ton of goodness" Ben grabbed him and they cuddled together with glee, Penny running into the kitchen to slam into them and they included him in the hug.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Loving" Ton replied, "The most important thing to learn how to do."

"Yeah" Penny sighed happily "I learn every day!"


	13. "You have to be odd to be number one, Doctor Seuss sez so!"

 

"So … it's OK?" Penny looked at his hair, the patches visible with Angel's visit so long ago "Like … I have bits missing"

"We all have bit missing" Ton snorted, "I am missing my fingernails today coz Taddy cut them in the bath last night. I didn't die. Ask Walty, he is missing some skin from the burns. And Taddy … he is missing bits from the cancer. And what about Skidmark! Have you never noticed he is missing half his little finger?"

"What?"

"Yeah. I never asked what happened coz I forget. See? It doesn't make him half a Skidmark. It makes him special coz he is the only one I know with half a finger. He's a number one!" Ton smiled and waved, the man in question wandering into the room.

"Hello men, the Queen is going to town. She has to find a new hat for something. Wanna come? You know you can all get a new hat and do a hat parade later. Ianto likes that. Gods, Babs used to get dressed up and prance all the time. Only yesterday actually"

"Skiddy? How did you lose your finger bit?" Penny decided to ask. Nothing ventured nothing learned or whatever.

"My brother did it" Skiddy looked at his hand like he had forgotten all about it, "We was fighting and I was running from him, he slammed the door on my hand and the finger was sort of … chopped. We opened the door and the end was hanging off … just some skin holding it. We were both so scared Mum would kill us … he yanked it off and I hid it for about … three days until it hurt too much"

"Did it hurt?"

"It burned sort of, I think it was later it really hurt" Skidmark smiled softly, "I don't really remember now."

"We agreed"

"Agreed what little man?" Skidmark pulled Penny into his lap, loving the little one who reminded him of Walter.

"That you are a number one!"

Skidmark almost wept with delight as he cuddled the kids to him. He had never been anyone's number one, not until he met Ianto and then was shown love… given love and found family.

"It takes one to know one, shinny Penny" he crooned and Penny lit up.

His Daddy called him that too.

Maybe he was shinny.

Poppy said he was his sunshine.


	14. "Don't let people take more than they give, you will lose your balance"

" **Don't let people take more than they give, you will lose your balance"**

Ton helped Imp with his picture for Mrs Binkley who was calling later that day, promising a new little knitted gem for LB. Ton had immediately suggested a picture for a thank you, Imp wanting to help.

"You see, she gives pretty things and no one ever really says thanks. They expect it, even look for it but how many people do nice things for her?" Ton asked "It's important. Like … when you get lots of things, you give some away right? Like your three trucks the same you got for your birthday. You gave Monkey one and Ben one, right? You evened it out again. You were solid."

"It's only fair. Now we can all play in the dirt patch with our little roads" Imp frowned, "Some people don't share?"

"No"

Imp looked scandalised and Ton hugged him tight, "Don't worry. As long as you keep your balance you can be solid, just like Taddy. You will be a Taddy one day, gotta remember to stay balanced."

The two boys went down to show Ianto who immediately gushed over it, telling them it was a keeper and the old biddy would have it on her fridge in no time. Ianto then rose and walked to the stove, bending to check the roast. The boys looked down at the four inch stilettos Ianto was balancing on, and then he rose and turned, walking with purpose to the fridge to get something. Jack sighed softly from the doorway "Breaking them in for her love?"

"Almost there, can't believe they pinch her so, she wanted them so badly" Ianto nodded absently, "Babs has such picky feet."

"I love your feet" Jack gushed, watching the bright pink shoes twist and turn again, Ianto strutting like the professional he was.

"I know, I love your foot massages" Ianto replied absently, stirring a pot as he popped a hip.

"Taddy, you have balance right?" Ton asked, looking at Imp.

"Yes love, I have perfect balance" Ianto answered, "Besides, Daddy would catch me in a heartbeat, a good mate helps with balance"

"Yeah, like brothers do" Ton smiled, pulling Imp onto a hug, "See?"

"Without balance, you fall over" Imp smiled as he let his head rest on Ton's chest, "I see."

Ianto pivoted in a heel and walked over to the doorway, stepping out of the shoes as Babs entered and slipped them on.

"Ahhhhhh, thanks Taddy! Perfect" she sighed happily "I am so glad our feet are the same size now."

Ianto hummed, the slippers Jack had rushed to fetch were bloody nice too.


	15. "Life is for living, not worrying about"

 

Ton carried the box of decorations through the kitchen and Ianto glanced up, "Put that one in the living room love, we will sort that one later."

"Tad?"

Hmmmm?"

"Why is it called the Living Room?" Ton asked "We live in other parts of the house too, right?"

"Once upon a time the front Parlour was called the living room. When someone died they would be placed there in their coffin for viewing and people to pay respects. During that time it would be called the Death Room. After the funeral it would again be the Living Room" Ianto explained calmly, Ton nodding patiently as he listened. It made sense to him, the little coffins so sad on the big mayoral table Dad was currently cutting into little pieces in the shed out back, Fen and Walt making pretty things from some of the wood for those families and the rest gonna be for a big bonfire or something. A new table in place.

"That's sad. But it makes sense, you live in the space where you are happy and loved, when you die you go back there for a while. I mean … I will come here right? You will sit by my coffin and sing to m and stuff?"

Ianto couldn't hide his horror, staggering back to grip the table then ease himself into a chair, "Carlton! Don't … no. Don't ask that. No. no. When you die … when you die I will too. It will have to be a big coffin to fit me too because I will want to go wherever you do!"

"Awwwwww, Tadda" Ton smiled softly walking over to throw his arms around him "It's OK. I won't go anywhere."

"You won't?" Ianto asked as he fought tears.

"No. I am gonna haunt the shit out of this place!" Ton said with the same droll expression. "turn lights on and off, make noises … move Babs' shoes so her pairs don't match. Lots of stuff."

Ianto snorted with mirth as he realised Ton had been looking for a game the entire time, Ianto falling into the trap of being too grownup to see it. Time to sort that out.

"Well … if you are going to haunt the place we will need to find some scary spots to haunt. Of course the attic since it's yours but … where else?" Ianto giggled softly "not the Throne Room surely! I can't go with ghosts watching me!"

"Hmmmmmmm. True. Ectoplasm might not mix with air freshener. That's what it's called, ghost mist … ectoplasm." Ton explained with a loving pat to Ianto's' shoulder "Come on, I will have a look and tell where the safe places to hide when I go nuts on full moons and things."

"Full moons?" Ianto giggled as he was led away.

He had forgotten but Ton was there to remind him.

Life was for living.


	16. "Boys can do anything too!"

 

"So … it's not silly?" Ben asked, watching Penny wander past with the doll pram being lovingly pushed as he sang a nonsense song to Muncher who sat inside it with a pompous look of glee.

"Look at Taddy. A clever man. A doctor. An accountant sort of. A builder or building maker... ah ... he drew it all ya know. A cook, a Taddy, a mayor and an author. I mean … not much Taddy can't do even with his silly body problems. His brain is cleverer than any other" Ton said as he smiled softly at his friend and …well…nephew, pulling him in for a hug, "If Penny wants to be a Taddy today, so be it."

"But …but …he has a dress on and stuff. Like … a mummy!"

"Dude! You've seen my Taddy in a dress, don't be a divvy." Ton scolded with a rare frown, "Clothes do not make a woman. If you marry a nice woman who makes oodles of money, why can't you stay home and raise the kids. Eh? She might want to wear a suit and tie! Maybe you would be better at it than her, being the parental. Being a girl does not make them better at baby caring. No. That's a silly thing for people to think and we know better. A skirt does not make Babs a girl any more than having a doodle still makes him a boy. Babs is Babs because it's how it is. I am a Ton. You are a Benji-man and Penny … Penny is in the bloody chickens again! PENNY! THE BIRDS WILL POO ON THE WHEELS!"

Muncher started to bark, backing up his bud as Badger sat back and sighed softly. He was just glad he was not in the bloody pram thing. So bouncy when it was nice and warm in the patch of sun he had found.

Grub meandered past and stopped to touch noses, then continued on. The three ducks following almost unnoticed.

Almost.

Muncher flew from the push chair and slammed against the chicken wire, searching for a way out as he eyeballed the ducks calmly waddling past.

"DAD!" Ton called happily "THE DUCKS ARE BACK!"

"Come on boys, let's get the ducks to the new pond Dadda made" Ton said with glee, "We can take the All Terrain Toner!"

"YAY!"

The pushchair game was forgotten and Penny kicked off the skirt to reveal little saggy-bum underwear, plonking Muncher into his basket then clambering onto the old cart with knobbly tyres Ton was allowed for the horse paddock rides and they took off, Grub following with his ducks.

"See?" Ton said as he watched the dog sink into the water followed by the ducks "Second year in a row they've come back. Remembered their mama doggie. So what if he is not a girl. Or a duck. They love him for his own weird self!"

"Cool." Penny said happily as he leaned out, the undies flopping and slipping to let a little arse cheek explore the open world "Dogs can do anything!"

"Agreed" Ton patted the bare arse affectionately and wondered if he needed to sunscreen that.

Had some in the back somewhere.


	17. "There is always someone bigger!"

 

"Tell me that was stupid, right?" Ben muttered as he held the icepack to his face, his lovely little uncle pacing with his hands behind his back and his lips pursed in the Harkness-Jones pose of thought. Ton was uncommonly angry.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" River asked as she entered and crouched to check on her charge and Ben pulled back the icepack to show the livid mark.

Penny entered and chose a chair, swinging his feet as he watched silently.

"There you are! Where were you?" River looked over at the child who was pursing his lips in a parody of Ton.

Then Monkey entered with a huge grin, slipping over to sit with Penny, also swinging his feet. River looked at them then frowned "OK. What did you do?"

Wide eyes as they all looked at her, then Ton answered politely "I've not done nothing Miss River!"

She frowned as she looked at the other two who looked around the room like they couldn't possibly understand the question.

Then Graham entered, his nose gushing blood and a look of doom as he slumped in a chair, Mrs Anderson huffing as she headed to get a wash cloth. She crouched to check his nose, "I don't know Graham. How you can tumble over your own feet and tangle your laces, I will never know!"

Monkey rose, stalking off with Penny following, then hesitating in the doorway to do a weird dance with his feet, then walking off. River watched the display and turned to Ton "Did he tie these laces together?"

Ton shrugged, "He would have seen them doing it, right?"

Ben snorted softly then looked at the other boy who now wished he had never hit Ben to get the toy from him. He had a feeling he was going to suffer some more before he was done. Even though he was larger than the other boys they watched the only one in the room larger… bigger in every way.

Ton waited until River rose to go call the parents and he canted his head "You know, my Taddy once told me something and I never forget his advice."

Graham looked at Ton silently.

"There is always someone bigger than you out there." Ton said calmly "And you know … combined, there is nothing we cannot overcome. So. If you take Pen and Monk and put them on a scale … I guess they are more than you, right?"

Graham got it and nodded.

"It's up to Ben to call a line" Ton said as he left, turning in the doorway as River brushed past him to check they were not killing one another "But you know …. I am big too. If I sit on you … there would be a line too! A squishy one!"

Ton walked out as River gaped. She had never heard Ton angry or threatening in anyway, didn't even think there was a bad bone in his body but apparently his Harkness-Jones heart was HUGE.

"You know Graham …. I think you should say sorry very loudly where everyone can hear" River said as she looked at the forlorn child, "Only way to save yourself at this point."

"Yes ma'am."


	18. "Forgiveness does not mean you were not right!"

 

Ton was pleased when the child apologised to Ben, weepily telling him he had been wrong and should have waited for a turn. He promised to wait next time and maybe ask politely. Honest.

Ben waited and then did what he knew was right, what he knew his Poppy or Daddy would do "OK. This time. Let's go play something else then."

As they walked away together Ton smiled and looked down at Penny "You know Pen. That was a good knot."

"He gonna play with him again?" Penny was clearly confused by this so Ton pulled him into a hug.

"He has feelings too. He made a mistake. Sometimes it's a good idea to forgive something that is not a big deal. Will you think about it next week? Next year? Nah. Will he still be a friend?" Ton smiled and squeezed "anyway. It doesn't mean we forget what he did. If he hits someone again we will remind Miss Song, won't we. After all … he forgave him. He didn't draw a line."

"Ah! The line!" Penny nodded, still learning about these things and he leaned against Ton "I love you Tonny."

"I love you too Crispin and we will always be friends because there are no lines when we love each other. No need. We will never hurt each other" Ton squeezed and Penny smiled, the only time his entire name was used was when it was a Grup conversation. It felt … right.

"Come on Ton, I saw a little mouse hole without a door. Let's see if it needs one and we can tell Grampy" Penny said with excitement, both boys rushing to check if there were mice at the school.

They thought it best not to tell the teacher first in case she scared it away or something.

Awwwwww.

A hole for sure!

Cute.


	19. Love is not having to ask for a hug.

 

Ton was under the table. Muncher had fallen asleep by Taddy's feet and was dreaming so he leaned against the wall and stroked the little body to calm him down, the little feet stopping their imaginary race and the little dog sighed softly, settling again. Ton still found it amazing that doggies dream, just like all peoples do.

He peeked out to tell Taddy Muncher was doing it again and he watched his Daddy stalk his Taddy like prey.

Taddy was now at the counter, peeling spuds as he listened to the radio and sang along softly. Ton knew he would soon return to his chair and reach down to stroke Ton's hair as he read, something that was their secret thing. Why Muncher had a bed under there as well. Ton's secret lair. That everyone knew about.

Jack slid in behind his husband, lips finding the back of Ianto's neck and Ianto stopped peeling to lean back into the clutch, letting Jack's hands slide around his waist to connect over his stomach.

"We need to be quick, that bloody husband of mine is about somewhere and suspicious" Ianto whispered, Jack's snort of amusement covered with a soft nip to Ianto's neck.

Ianto turned to face Jack, his face soft and full of love as he reached up to stroke Jack's hair from his face, "you need a haircut mister."

Jack kissed him.

Jack's hands roamed, taking in those plump butt cheeks and the sweeping arch of his back, those strong shoulders that held the world up effortlessly and their kiss seemed to go forever. Then Jack let his head rest against Ianto's as they swayed to the music.

Another kiss, and Ianto laughed, his hands on Jack's shoulders tapping gently to the beat as Jack began to dance him around the kitchen, his voice gently singing to a song and Ton recognised it as the one from their wedding videos. Every one. A thousand years.

After Jack had gone Ianto leaned back against the counter, not resuming peeling but smiling softly as he looked down directly at Ton who was still peeking out. Wordlessly he opened his arms and Ton rushed to take the hug Daddy had just handed over, revelling in the fact Taddy would give such a loving one away to him.

That's love ya see?

Never having to ask.

 


	20. The Best Things in Life Are Free

 

Ianto was watering the garden, humming softly as he tried to remember what the song was that was currently stuck in his head. Ton had been singing it earlier and he finally got it.

"The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees" Ianto sang.

"I want money!" Ton joined in "that's what I want, That's what I want!"

"Where did you get that one from?" Ianto snorted.

"Heather was playing it. She has funny music." Ton grinned, "her mama told her to lower it so Heather took the player, then put it on the floor, then yelled that it was lower. Haahahahahaa"

Ianto watched Ton laugh, his hands on his hip in Harness pose and his head tipped back as he revelled in having a friend that was clearly not part of his Taddy's fold.

"So. Money, huh"

"Not really, it's just a song. She gave me something better" Ton said as he reached into the top pocket of his overalls he had on today, removing a bright green feather. "Look!"

"Wow, that's a fluffy one" Ianto agreed.

"The left ones are hugs, the right ones are kisses. Gotta be at least a million there" Ton examined the feather carefully, "She made it specially."

"Did she?" Ianto smiled as he turned to water another patch, "That was nice of her."

"She blew kisses to it all night" Ton agreed "and she said each time she gives someone a hug it will automatically come here, she asked in a wish for it to be so. Isn't' that nice? Sharing something so …so … expensive."

"Yes love"

"I need a box. A nice glittery one. Can we get one next time we are in town?" Ton asked, "I will whisper happy thoughts in it all week then give it to her. Now her ears are better she might hear them if she opens the lid carefully."

Ianto loved his little man's brain and he leaned in to kiss him gently, "How about I finish this and we go for a ride into the city, look for a special one. Maybe I need one for Daddy, whisper some loves into it so when he is away from me and bangs a finger or something he can hold the box and remember I would kiss it better if I could. A small one for his pocket?"

"Exactly" Ton nodded, "A red one for Daddy. I think a yellow one for Heather. She likes yellow at the moment."

"You are a lovely man" Ianto gushed happily, "to notice her colour change."

"Friends do that" Ton agreed as he accepted a kiss from his Taddy.

He might want a box for those too.

To keep for himself.


	21. Never trust someone that doesn't like animals!

 

Ton eyeballed the man who looked a bit dishevelled. There were brambles in his hair and leaves stuck in the cuff of his pants. His shoes muddy. Ton could clearly see that this man had not walked thought the security gates and he folded his arms as he looked him up and down "Who?"

"Mister Harkness-Jones" the man repeated.

"Well … I am Mister Harkness-Jones" Ton said sagely, "Mehaps you want me?"

Ianto was sitting at his table doing some recipe sorting and he looked up at the screen to see Ton standing in front of a stranger looking so much like his Daddy he just needed a Great Coat. Ianto considered and reached for the button to activate the mic, listening now as he watched a Hoodlum Enforcer move to the corner of the screen behind the man.

"I want the one who is in charge" the man said, making a noise as Muncher walked over to sniff at the man and he kicked out gently at the dog with open disgust.

"I am in charge here!" Ton was liking this. Being a Grup was easier than he thought it would be.

"I want your Dad"

"My Daddy is not a Mister. He is a Captain" Ton snorted "You are not that clever, are you. You asked for a Mister."

"The one who is the…ah….senor mayor?"

"Well … I am a future mayor. Can I help you?" Ton's face became bland and even thought Ianto knew he should go out and save the situation, he was incredibly touched to see his own 'fuck-off' face.

"Look little man …. Gods!" the man spluttered as Grub came around the side of the house, the huge bulked out Cane Corso would have left his mother in the dust now. The size of a small bull, the dog looked at the boy and then the stranger and he went into protect mode with a low bellow of warning.

"And that is Grub Harkness-Jones but he is not a mister either. He is a dog" Ton canted his head. "You know … we are about the same size but you are a bit fatter. Really, if I am a little man, so are you!"

"Get out!" the man snarled as he flapped his papers at the dog and then a cat made a strange entrance with a screech of anger, dancing over to rake claws at the man and then dance behind the dog that would save her from anything, the nakedness alarming in the sunlight. "Christ almighty! How many of these bloody animals do you have!"

"Lots" Ton smiled sweetly, "Dogs, cats, chickens, horses ….I am working on a rat but Taddy is a bit resistant so he got Muncher instead…sort of the same thing… and there is an Animal behind you."

The man swung to stare at the mad man with frizzy orange hair and a wide smile. His bright Hawaiian shirt finished it off, the sleeves split for the huge arms.

"Hi" Animal said in a deep boom.

The man paled and made a noise as he started to back away and Ton smiled as he turned to walk inside.

"Bye!"


	22. "Not everyone likes neekid bits!"

 

Monkey and Imp were hissing as Ton held the door closed and shook his head "No! I am telling you now. Get pants on or no dancing."

"But the rain!" Monkey wailed as he pointed at the windows and then Imp looked out and screamed with anger.

"Ben and Pen are allowed!" Imp roared as he watched them dancing with Mae and Neve.

"Do they have pants?"

Imp did not reply but growled softly as he folded his arms with annoyance.

"Neve is visiting. She does not have flappy bits like us. Want her to be jealous? She can't fling bits around for fun like we can" Ton explained with that Toninator Logic that always made the other children stop and think "Why do you think boys and girls wear pants? In the old days they didn't have pants. They were all naked but the men kept getting their bits burnt on the open fires. Also … ladies don't like sitting where our bare bums have been."

"Makes sense" Imp said sagely, "they have some nice pants."

Monkey stared at his friend for a moment then grinned "Yeah. Right?"

Soon they were all dancing in the rain, screaming and waving their arms as they pretended they were dancing for the gods. There were little lace panties flashing about and a pair of interesting leather pants Ton had found.

Babs looked out and gaped "Are they wearing my Victoria Secret sets?"

"Not a secret anymore" Sam giggled as she adjusted the baby to the other shoulder, "Look at that madness. You know … I once saw Walter in the nuddy by mistake. Gods, he has lovely skin."

"When he was a baby Taddy used to massage him, used oils and things for his problems. Did the same with me. Why I have such lovely skin too. He would sit at my incubator and sing, rubbing love into me" she sighed softy.

Sam looked at her child who was now snoring softly, the grump forgotten and she lifted her up then settled her on the mat next to a loving Grub. "Come on. Let's join them"

Babs looked up with surprise as her sister-in-law pulled off her top and then shimmied out of her skirt to reveal a pretty lacey set. Her little bump was just starting to show and Babs giggled as she did the same, her Victoria Secret set matching her brothers.

Ianto walked out to watch them all laugh and cavort, the baby on his shoulder now as she snuffled and farted softly into the palm of his hand. He grinned as he watched them act little nuttas.

Children.

His children.

So beautiful. He turned to see Walter kneeling with his camera raised, catching the moment and he made a mental note to get copies for his personal folder.


	23. "Batteries need recharging sometimes"

 

"You OK there buddy?" Ton asked as he settled on the step next to Penny who was slumped there leaning against the veranda post watching the others play.

"Tired" he sighed.

"Well … it has been a mad few days lately" Ton agreed as he watched Ben and Imp dance with Monkey who seemed to be the ringmaster.

"Tell ya what. You need a recharge of those internal batteries. Like Dad leaving the headlights on last night and Taddy had to jump start him. I have some emotional Jumper Cables, I'll jump start you!" Ton offered and Penny looked at him with interest, the idea a funny one.

Tony drew Penny into his arms enclosing him in a clutch. Penny blinked "This is a hug"

"Yep." Ton agreed "I thought so too, but then Taddy explained that sometimes when you need a jump start a super hug can work. Our hearts are side by side, zapping each other with love."

"Grandy is so clever" Penny sighed happily, rubbing his face into Ton's big chest and revelling in that huge heart within. Then Ton released him and Penny lit up.

"You're right!" he enthused, "I do feel zoomed up!"

"Go on then… off you zoom" Ton said grandly, watching his nephew explode out into the sunshine where the other children crowed and let him join in.

"Once upon a time …" Ianto said softly, from the doorway and Ton swung with delight as he found his Taddy there "…I thought my forever boy would be my last boy"

"Really?" Ton was surprised "you thought I was the last baby?"

"Yes" Ianto smiled as he settled on the step next to his son "I thought that I would have no other. After all, I could love no other as I love you. I know you understand that Ton. The love I have for Walt, Fen, Babs and Impy … all different loves. You understand love and the love I have for you is a total one. A forever huggy one. I thought there would be no room for another."

"But then came Imp" Ton nodded looking back to the children.

"You are my Best Boy. Always, the other kids will grow up and be good men and a good mad woman but you will always be the Best Boy. I was silly to think there could be no other kids, just because there could never be another Best Boy" Ianto hugged Ton and Ton rested his face against his Taddy's chest much as Penny had with him.

He understands love.

It's interchangeable and all sizes are welcome.

One size fits all.


	24. "You don't need the right words if you are telling someone who knows your mind"

 

"Extrateresticles" Monkey said as he shook the little green alien toy over the interested Lady Bug.

"Extra what?" Sam asked as she watched the little boy gush over the baby.

Monkey was like his sisters, small for his age and pixie-like. Also, afflicted with the misuse of words gene.

"Teresticles" Monkey repeated, "You know … ETs."

"Aliens" Imp said as he settled to watch his best friend "Monkey and me watched an alien movie with Tonners. You know … they are from another planet and everything. Do you think there are ETs?"

"I don't know" Sam smiled, then watched Ianto wander past, slowing to watch Monkey as he crooned some more.

"These Extrateresticles come down in their big ship to take cows away for prodding" Monkey was explaining to the Poppet who blinked as she nodded to show interest.

"Monk, she might be too small to know what probing is" Ianto warned, "Might be more of a grownup thing."

"Yeah. True" the boy sniffed, "I am eight now. A bit old for her little brain box. Sorry Lady Bug. I mean … they poke things in their bum holes."

Sam started to giggle as the little girl turned the toy over to check for such a hole and Monkey leaned in to say softly "I don't know if Aliens have bum holes lovely girl."

"Oh dear gods" Ianto sighed, then watched Ton lean forward from the chair he was reading in.

"Don't be a donut, there are no alien bum holes" he said with authority, "Clearly why ours are so interesting. Have you ever heard of alien poo being found anywhere? Travelling this far, they would be busting!"

"You know … I didn't think of that. Lady Bug, don't listen to me. Aliens are different to us and maybe they don't have a bum hole on their bum. Might be… they spit it out or …or … it comes out their ears or something." He leaned in and kissed the little head.

"Just like Babs" Ianto said softly to Ton, "Mad as a hatter but twice as much fun."

"We know what he means, it's OK if she is too little. It means something to him" Ton agreed, "Monkey loves her."

"Why she always laughs with him when he tells a joke, she doesn't have to know what he is saying to laugh, she does it to show she loves him too" Ianto agreed.

"When you love someone, you know what their heart thinks even if their brain mixes the words a bit" Ton realised as he saw that Taddy always knew his questions even if he was excited and they came out weird.

And that's not to mention Babs and her funny use of words.

Love is more than words I guess.


	25. "Taddy is a car killer"

 

Ianto frowned as he looked at the quote, then at the photo of Ianto standing beside a totalled people mover.

"Ton … "

"It's OK Tad. Nothing to be ashamed of" Ton said calmly, "We all have an Achilles Elbow or whatever. Yours is vehicles."

"But … I do not feel comfortable labelled as a killer. I mean … not all deaths are my fault, some have been assassinations and there have even been suicides!" Ianto huffed, totally insulted now.

Ton frowned as he looked at his father closer "You really don't think of it like that?"

Ianto saw in a millisecond that he could break his child's heart with his selfish pouting and he smiled as he laughed softly "Well … maybe I … well. Not a killer. Maybe just … bad luck? Like Daddy always drops sauce on himself when eating a burger no matter how hard he tries not to. Not his fault, we all wait for it."

Ton considered.

"I guess. But … we are never ready for one of your murders"

Ianto saw that he was not going to win and looked at the photo again, his heart constricting as he saw Bets standing in the background of the photo with her hands on her hips and a look of doom. Hmmmm. Might be that he did kill this one if he remembered correctly. She did slap him with the tea towel after this was taken.

"Well …. OK. It is your book after all" Ianto sighed, giving in and Ton grinned.

"Good, because I have Walter's ready too" Ton laughed.

"Walter?"

"Yeah … I am gonna have a photo of him on fire and the quote will be …. 'Walter is so hot right now' or something" Ton said as he shuffled photos "what do you think?"

"He will be as amazed as I am" Ianto said slowly, revelling in the conniptions Walter will have as he chews the inside of his mouth and tells Ton that was a clever play on words.

Damned book.

But Ton was loving it so much and Ianto had to admit, it was interesting to see how his mind worked.

So damned clever.

And young Heather was influencing his funny bone as of late.

Damn it.

A killer indeed.


	26. "Surprises are best when you don't know they are going to happen"

 

Ianto pulled up and turned off the vehicle, looking long and hard at the four wheel drive in the driveway. Sleek, expensive and a rental if the tags were correct. He felt a niggle as he stared.

"Tad?" Ton called softly "Impers is asleep."

"It's Ok love, I will go inside and see if Curty will carry him for me. Looks like a visitor is here, studio plates so must be for Walt." Ianto replied and Ton clambered forward with a noise of interest, then to Ianto's surprise Ton squealed and shot from the vehicle, running for the front door with jazz hands making him look like he was trying to fly.

"BRUCE!"

"Bruce?" Ianto frowned then sighed. Right. The phone calls. Bruce.

Ianto got out and walked over to the vehicle, "Hi. You can come inside ya know. Those big scary Hoodlums are actually lovely fellows and you are welcome in my house."

The driver meekly exited the vehicle and followed Ianto inside where the sound of Ton in overload could be heard, as well as the unmistakable laugh of Bruce Willis. Babs wafted past haughtily "Taddy, he came to say hi. Look ... he got me a fake fur coat. Isn't it DAHHHHLing?"

"Hhhhhmmmmmm" Ianto watched her prance off and sighed again, walking to the kitchen as he called out "COFFEE?"

"PLEASE" came several replies and then Ianto remembered something, cursing as he swung to head back outside, the sleepy and grumpy Imp meeting him at the front door.

"What the hell" Imp spluttered "I coulda died out here. Didn't you see the RSPCA ad the other night about leaving pets in the car?"

"I did leave the doors open … sort of like cracking a window" Ianto said then started to snort as he caught up to himself, Imp's glare now at death-ray level.

"Laugh it up Mister Mayor" he hissed. "I. Am. Telling. My. Daddy!"

"DADDY TADDA LEFT ME TO DIE!"

Ianto giggled as Jack screamed from the bowels of the house, running with a towel around his shoulders and another around his waist, showing he was in the process of bathing. He fell to his knees and grabbed for Imp, seizing him in a bear hug "My darling. My sweetest, most precious young prince. Did that horrible dragon try to smite you?"

"Well I don't know about smite, but he did try to kill me" Imp spluttered.

"Horrendous!" Jack said with a fierce glare at Ianto, lifting the child in his arms, "Come my love. Daddy has you now. My precious boy, I shall carry you as you are probably too weak from the shock!"

"YES I AM" cam the muffled roar from his father's chest as Imp was carried off with a mince of his Daddy's arse, a waggle in the doorway before it was gone. Cheeky man.

More laughter and Ianto sighed.

Right.

Coffee.

He asked Ton for a headcount.


	27. "Never judge a book by its picture on the front"

 

Bruce was talking softly to Imp and then Ianto watched as Imp rose and led him to the piano, both sitting to play. Bruce started out easy with the child, both of them enjoying themselves then Bruce decided to show off, showing the child that he could really play.

Imp gave the polite smile and showed Bruce that he was pissing in the wind as the little maestro swung into one of his original pieces and Bruce sat with his mouth open as those long slender fingers flew across the ivories. Imp played like the natural that he was.

The last note died and Imp turned to Bruce "Of course, Taddy made up the song to go with that but I can't sing it as well as he can."

"Song" Bruce repeated.

"Yes. Taddy writes music too. He hides it, like most things. He hides his gifts. He taught me about music and stuff, same as he did with Walt. But it's Taddy that writes songs. He writes lovely ones but never sings then to people. Taddy says he doesn't do it to show off or to share, he does it to get it out ... whatever that means."

Bruce looked over at the man watching them silently, as he usually does.

"You sing?"

Ianto canted his head "You've never watched the Christmas Specials, eh?"

Bruce looked at Walter who rose and reached for his guitar by the piano, "Taddy? Want yours too?"

Now they were talking.

Imp began to play another original piece, one he knew the words to and as his Taddy started to sing in a low baritone he joined in with his soft angelic voice. As the song picked up and Ianto's voice changed to a demanding tone, lightening and then suddenly flying away with Imp Bruce sat in silent shock at the beauty he was hearing.

Then Walter joined in.

It was a display of talent with Ton's voice harmonising perfectly with Walt's. Jack took the chorus as well, then would fall silent as he enjoyed his family. Their voices lovely, Babs in the background providing an eerie version that seemed to wind though the stronger voices and as it ended Bruce was on his feet with his hands clasped together.

"Why the hell did you never release an album or two? Holy shit, even I have done a record and this …. This blows me away. You are all so talented and so…so …god. I would listen to that all day."

"Don't be silly" Ton laughed as he shook his head "Impy's fingers would get tired if he had to play for you that long."

Bruce laughed as he gently embraced the child then turned to ask Imp for a hug too, knowing he was like his Taddy and not always welcoming to a hug.

 


	28. "Advice is always good, even if you don't like it"

 

Bruce was looking at all the pictures on the wall of Ianto's inner office, the quotes stuck under them with blutack. It was obvious that Ton was laying out his book and considering photos for quotes. Bruce crouched as he read some and Ianto tried to ignore him as he searched for Lovey Bug's binky that he knew was in there somewhere.

"So … you think this is publishable?"

"Yes" Ianto replied as he got onto his hands and knees and peered under a chair, and then made a noise of delight, reaching under to pull out the bright pink binky.

"Well, I really don't know about these things but … are you going to your publisher with this or will you shop around" Bruce settled in a chair, "I know the easy thing would be to go to the company that you and Walt use already, after all it's family but … this is a different style and maybe you should look into other publishers that might specialise in coffee table books. They might market them differently or something."

Ton listened in the doorway, watching his father's back tighten and he knew he was annoyed with Bruce for giving advice on something when he had already made up his mind.

"I understand where you are coming from but this is not about making money Bruce" Ianto settled to face him, the binky still in his hand, "This is about Ton's vision. He wants to be like me and Walt. He wants his book published like mine are. Like Walt's book of photos from the show was. That gift from Walt to me that Christmas set the little mind in motion, seeing the studio setting, the set shots and Walt's natural flare in a book form showed Ton that sharing your talent is important. I also know my delight in the gift told him it was the right thing to do."

"So … you will stick with your publisher" Bruce nodded, "I understand."

"My books have my publisher's press logo. Walt's does as well. So will Ton's. Like you said … family. Ton knows the publicist, he knows the people from the company who come to visit. I do not intend stirring that pot." Ianto smiled softly to show there was not annoyance "I know you want the best for him too. I am glad you are friends."

"Not exactly conventional ones but …. He's a great kid. Ianto … I envy you. What a life you have carved out for yourself" Bruce admitted and Ianto sighed softly.

Ton listened with interest as his father whispered "Sometimes, the blood sweat and tears are needed … so your children never have to walk the path you stumbled to get them here."

"I hear you" Bruce answered softly "Your book on parenting an LGBT child is … enlightening."

"Did it help?"

"Yeah … yeah. I think she has forgiven me for my reactions and I might have forgiven myself too."

Ton turned to wander off, thinking about that.

Books really help.


	29. "You don't need a ring to belong to someone"

 

Ianto was watching Jack square off against the formidable Babs. This had been her decision to go this way, thinking her father would be the usual soft touch but she hadn't counted on his inability to let her be anything but his little princess.

"Daddy. Dad. I am eighteen now. Eighteen. I am practically a grown-up" she flapped her arms and stomped her feet as Jack snorted.

"Ah. But if you were a grown-up you wouldn't use that title. You would simply be" Jack snorted.

"Dad. Come on. Eighteen. In some cultures a woman is already married with children!" she huffed.

"Well, go live there then" Jack replied, his frown deepening "I thought you wanted to wait for children … you want one already?"

"Stop twisting my words TAAAADDDDDD!" she roared and Ianto stepped into the room so she could see him. "Taddy! Daddy won't let me marry Bethy!"

"Well … we did agree to 21" Ianto replied.

"Walter…"

"Is a different kettle of fish!" Jack snapped.

"Well something smells" she muttered as she flopped into a chair.

"Why now?" Ton asked, breaking the silence, "It's a crappy time to get married. Winter coming and the ground all muddy and mushy. We couldn't have it outside. No playing for the kids and the cake … lords, getting a cake tower about the place in that rain? Are you mad?"

They all stared at him as he continued to speak "You are supposed to be going Hoodlum all the way with your names on the tree. Promised to one another anyway right? If you have an engagement party instead, then in spring you can do the whole wedding thing. Nicer flowers then. We could even have time for Taddy to get the back field into shape for the marquee and stuff."

"Actually … you are sort of right" she sighed, "I … if we wait for an Easter one we can have the rabbit theme she keeps wanting. More chance of kids maybe too."

"We agreed. Finish school, love a few years and travel. Then kids" Jack said like he was reading from a list.

"I am finished" she replied smugly "I am now free. We practically live together and I have travelled the world with Walt. I see these kids, I want kids."

"You don't need rings to show you love someone. You don't need to sign a piece of paper to belong to one another" Ianto finally said softly "Engagement is not a marriage Cariad. I think that is just a step closer."

Jack huffed as he slumped in his own chair and Ton knew Babs had won.

She owed Taddy big time for this one.

He wondered if there was cake at an engagement thing.

"Google?"


	30. "Anyone can feel special"

 

Ianto was on the piano, not aware tht there was an audience as he played an old favourite. It was a 'Lisa' song that she always wanted on the jukebox when they were out drinking and it seemed natural to start to sing. He was in a melancholy mood lately.

By the time he realised there was someone else in the room Ton was in full ballet mode, all he needed was a Tutu as he flung his arms about, swinging around the room with such glee that Ianto didn't want to end the song.

He swung into it a second time. Revelling in his sweet boy's delight in something new but so fitting and Ton started to laugh as he leapt up, a perfect pirouette. Ianto was pleased he had talked Jack into letting Ton go to Ballet lessons with Babs.

As the music finally died Ton swung to stare to him "Teach me that one!"

Ianto slid over, letting Ton have a seat and they started to play together, Ton carefully learning and watching Ianto's fingers. His own attempts were clumsy but he finally got the melody, then Ianto sang each verse over and over as Ton repeated it.

"The Pretenders, the lead singer was Chrissie Hines, she wore black like a signature thing" Ianto explained "Like you like that black leotard."

"And Tutu" Ton added, "A black tutu like that Black Duck movie Babs watched the other night. A weird one but I liked her black outfit."

Ianto blinked slowly as he computed the Black Swan reference "Well … How about in black work boots and workman gear, like … a manly ballet dancing man? Like that movie Stomp"

"Ooooooo" Ton gasped, "YES!"

Ianto smiled as he sat back and watched Ton play the simple version of the song once more, singing it softly. Then he asked his Taddy "Do you have this on CD?"

"Yes, it's on Mama Lisa's soundtrack" Ianto admitted, Ton rising to go to the rack where CDs were stacked and pulling out the one that had Lisa's favourite songs on it, one Walter still listened to quietly sometimes.

"May I?"

"Yes darling, go download it to your laptop and then slip it back so Walter can find it again" Ianto agreed watching Ton race off.

So special.

.

.

.

.

**The Pretenders - Brass In Pocket (i'm Special)**

I got brass in pocket  
Got bottle, I'm gonna use it.  
Intention  
I feel inventive,  
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice

Got motion, restrained emotion.  
I been driving uh, Detroit leaning.  
No reason, just seems so pleasing.  
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice

(CHORUS)

Gonna use my arms,  
Gonna use my legs,  
Gonna use my style,  
Gonna use my side-step-  
Gonna use my fingers.  
Gonna use my, my, my, imagination.

Cause I going make you see- there's nobody else here  
No one like me.  
I'm special, so special.  
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me!  
I got rhythm, I can't miss a beat.  
I got-a new skank so reet.  
Got something. I'm winking at you,  
Gonna make you, make you notice.

Gonna use my arms,  
Gonna use my legs,  
Gonna use style,  
Gonna use my sidestep  
Gonna use my fingers, gon' use my my my imagination.

Oh .. cause I gonna make you see  
there's nobody else here, no one like me.  
I'm special, so special.  
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me!  
'Cause I gonna make you see  
there's nobody else here, no one like me,  
I'm special, so special.  
I got to have some of your attention, give it to me.  
Ooooooooo, when you walk.

.

.

.

Asked for by Anony xxx


	31. "Grups can play dress-up too"

 

Ton held the camera as still as he could, catching his Taddy who had no idea he would be a chapter in drag.

He looked sensational, the business suit hugging and those knee high leather high heeled boots made the mini skirt of the woman's power suit expose those thighs that the Gads …. And that lovely Husband's swimming pool …. Had gifted him.

"So, I don't know what time we will be back … Date night ya know" Ianto gushed as he turned on a heel to address his son, Walter nodding as he slid into the sofa. It felt strange, leaving the children all unsupervised but Walter and Curt were going to stay over, Sam wanting to stay home with LB who was snuffly.

"Tad, just remember that he will be in character, don't nut anyone" Walter chortled and Ianto huffed.

"Look, that was one time!" Ianto sighed "How was I to know she was being so … insistent. He looked like he was going to throw up when I got there."

"Still … you went into mad stalker mode!" Walter laughed, "You were supposed to be pretending you didn't know him so he could use those horrible pickup lines he keeps googling."

"Goggling more like" Ianto frowned, "Or is it giggling. I mean, that one about the trouser snakes and… hey love. What are you doing?"

"I want a picky of you" Ton said calmly, never one to tell a lie and Ianto smiled.

"Really?"

"Yeah … You look so pretty" Ton gushed, "I like the black wig."

"So does Daddy" Ianto smiled softly.

"And your name?" Ton asked as he was rewarded with an awesome pout of red lips and batting of long eyelashes at his camera.

"I am Zelda" Ianto said with an accent, "here for a Librarian convention."

Ton giggled, "And Daddy?"

"A Fireman I think … or maybe he wants to do that silly lumberjack thing again. Hope not, that shirt is prickly." Ianto pouted again, then leaned in to kiss their Best Boy, "Now be good and I will remind him you are both doing that thing with Mrs Fincher's shed tomorrow so he can't' get to slathered."

"Yes!" Ton squealed with glee, "She wants a window in the other wall."

"Love you Darlink little Man" Zelda said in that deep sultry accent then was gone, Ton smiling as he watched the Taxi drove off.

Gosh, Taddy was pretty.

Just like Babs.


	32. "Everyone needs a thinking spot"

 

Ianto walked slowly up the road, knowing where he would find Ton.

He had been annoyed to learn that while he and Jack had been enjoying Date Night, Ton had been fighting with Imp about the book. The little shit had stirred Ton up by making fun of some of the chapters, telling Ton his own book would be better without such silly things.

Ton was where he always was when thinking. On Rocky.

Jack had offered to move Rocky to the Horse field behind the new house like they had the pagoda only to get a look of horror from Ton who told him that would be horrible as what would everyone else use for a special spot?

"Hey Love" Ianto said as he settled next to him, remembering the time honoured rule as he kicked off his shoes and leaned back "And hello Rocky."

"Imp is a tool."

"Yes. Brothers are" Ianto agreed "Me and Gene sometimes hit each other, broke favourite toys and even blamed one another for things we did bad"

"Really?" Ton gaped "MY Uncle Gene?"

"We were horrible children. I don't know why my parentals wanted us really. They should have stopped with Gene, taking me and Rhiannon on as well was madness." Ianto laughed. "Or they might have done better breeding dogs"

"But you took me. And Imp … sort of the same I guess. All of us … Walter is the only one you thought you would have" Ton considered "Do you regret it?"

"Never. Not for single heartbeat would I EVER regret having any of you … even if Babs sometimes makes my teeth hurt" Ianto assured him happily, "You know Imp is jealous right?"

"What?"

"Imp is jealous. Walt has a book, although Babs doesn't have one, I wrote one for her remember? Fen is doing the book on aircraft with Daddy and … well. What is Imp doing as a project? He's feeling left out. You need to remember that he is terribly clever. Of all of you children, he is the most intelligent but also the baby. Too young to do most things he wants to."

"I didn't think about that" Ton flopped back to lay next to his Tad, "He needs something too."

"If you think of something … let me know" Ianto patted his knee as he rose, "Got to be something I can do with him."

Ton watched a cloud pass overhead and let Rocky warm his back.

Gotta be something Imp and Taddy do that is special.


	33. "Songs are Poems set to music ya know"

 

Imp was swinging in the backyard, his face one of boredom. Ton had been thinking long and hard, then realised something, heading out to find Imp.

"Imp … you and Taddy write songs as well as music" Ton said without preamble, never one to beat around the bush and Imp stopped the swing to talk back, showing respect to his lovely brother.

"Yes, we do" he nodded.

"Well … it's poetry. You write poetry little brother. Tell ya what, you write some and I will talk to Tadda about you maybe having the last word so to speak. You could do the goodbye poem for the end of my book." Ton offered, Imp knowing how expensive that was, what an amazing gift his brother was giving him and he gaped at him.

"Really?"

"If my book gets famous, so will your poem and maybe you can write a whole book too" Ton suggested, "You write such funny and clever things."

"Oh Ton!" Imp flew from the swing and hugged him then took off for the back door calling over his shoulder "I need to think on this. I need my hat."

Imp's thinking spot was not Rocky and it had taken Ton a while to understand that Imp needed to talk to Elliot when he was thinking, the seat up on the mountain now a firm thinking spot for Imp and Monkey. Sometimes Ton wondered what Elliot would have been like, if he hadn't had to leave already. He would have liked this place too. He was sure of it. After considering more he went inside and offered to drive Imp to Elliot's Ledge in his Toady Motor.

He wanted to visit Rocky and tell him he had talked to Imp, Rocky needs to know things like that. He has lived there for hundreds of years, all bored and alone. Ton worried about Rocky sometimes. His lovely big heart told him Rocky needed love too.

Everyone needs love.

Taddy sez so.

And that John Lennon fella, he wrote that song that is so cool. All you need is love. Daddy sings that one sometimes, dancing with Taddy.

Songs are very informative too.


	34. "Everyone has scars, scars are OK."

 

Ianto was unaware of the conversation as he stood on the edge of the swimming pool, then gracefully dove in.

"But … Why?" Penny asked with wide eyes.

"Because he got hurt and when you get hurt you heal but there is always something left behind like a reminder. Like … take the snow over there. You stand in it and leave a footprint. You can use your hands to smooth it over again but it will not look like the rest. Its changed. Scarred." Ton explained gently "Some scars are behind the skin like … heart hurts and things. Or a broken bone that heals … still have the marks in the bone but you can't see them right?"

"So … Grandy has even more scars than that?" little eyes widened at the thought.

"Yah. He has lots. Sometimes he must really ache with all the hurts of life, but you see … that's the thing with scars. You can accept them and move on, forget they are there. Other people see them, think about them but you don't. You forgave the hurt"

"Grandy is so pretty. Can a guy be pretty?"

"Yes. Taddy is pretty. So is Walty. Your Dad is pretty too, right?" Ton pointed out, "Sexiest man alive according to his fans. Still ... he has scars too."

"Scars do not make you but they show that you are made?" Penny frowned now, "Like … seams."

"You know Crispin, you are a clever wiener sometimes" Ton crooned, "Yes. The healing scars are like stitches holding you together. Yes."

"I'm glad Grandy is all together. He is wonderful" Penny said, lighting up as said Gandy came up out of the water and reached for his towel, winking at them.

"What are you two men up to?" Ianto asked gently.

"Just saying, scars are OK. Everyone has them" Ton said calmly.

"If you've not hurt yourself a few times, you've not really lived" Ianto smiled happily, "Scars show you are strong, show you survived something."

Penny looked down at his hand and the little mark on the back of it that had been from a cigarette. He remembered that day, remembered the pain and also remembers now that his lovely Poppy kisses it sometimes. Makes it better.

He nodded as he agreed.

Scars are OK.


	35. "Tattoos are like a reminder string on your finger"

 

"Taddy?"

Ianto looked up from his task and hummed in response, "yes love?"

Ianto had stepped out of the bathtub and was drying himself as Ton watched from the same bath, still soaking as he knew his lovely Taddy would get another towel and open it wide to hug him with it as he stepped out next.

"Why do you have a dragon by your ball-sack?"

Ianto took a moment to register and then looked down at the little red Welsh Dragon that was in his inner groin.

"Oh. This was for Gene" Ianto smiled "When he was dead. We all got one, his favourite thing. Mama Lisa had one too."

"A tattoo?"

"Yeah, some people get them for decoration but others get them as a reminder. Like a little memory on skin. Every time I looked down to piss I looked at it and remembered my big brother who always stood next to me when we were kids giggling as we pissed in the darkness of our parental's bathroom." Ianto smiled "He always called me Teddy and I always called him Puff."

"Puff?"

"The magic dragon who lived by the sea" Ianto laughed, "It was our secret thing. He used to sing it to me when I was scared of the storms. Our little thing. It gives me strength now, Puff right there where no one else can see, a piece of my big brother."

Ton considered and smiled as he understood "Like a talisman?"

"Exactly my lovely boy. None of you children have tattoos but I would support it if one came and said they wanted one. They are not always for others to see, not for their entertainment, rather the wearer's personal choice to have something with them forever."

Ton liked that.

If he ever got one it would be a teddy bear.

In a Great Coat.

Yeah.

Now … how can he get a picture of that tattoo on Tadda for his book?


	36. "You don't always have to be good"

 

Ton found Penny and Imp under the table, the cake between them as they shovelled handfuls into their mouths. It had been one for some Babs thing … a new perfume or something, they all sort of ran together these days with Taddy even asking her to slow down. She didn't need the money but did need to start making her own space if she was really going to do the wedding thing and kids and stuff.

Taddy was right.

I mean … he's Taddy.

Pink and silver frosting everywhere, they looked like wild chipmunks with their cheeks full, frosting everywhere and giggling like little squeaks.

"Oh my god!" he gasped "What in the name of painted chicken feet are you doing!"

"Tadda said to Daddy that it was time for it to go to those chickens of yours" Imp said around his food, emboldened as Taddy was not there to scold for such a piggy thing.

"But … it's still good" Ton frowned as he settled on the floor to sample some.

"Apparently fresh cake is coming at the weekend for something" Penny said with big eyes, Ton thinking about it then nodding.

"Yah, that's right. It's one of their wedding anniversaries. I almost forgot, I did put the order in last week. It's going to be epic. So. This one is not needed, shame to give it all to my birds though, the sugar rush will make them madder than usual. Er. I think you have the right idea. We will eat what we can then let the birds go mad."

"Sounds like a plan" Penny said, then sobered "But is it bad? Grandy said to give it to them, not to eat some."

"Did he say not to eat any?" Imp argued and they all thought for a moment, then grinned.

A loophole.

Good enough.

Yum

Cake!


	37. "Laughter is the duster that cleans the cobwebs from the corners of our hearts"

 

Ton knew his Taddy was in one of his 'black dog' moods as Ianto slopped around the kitchen with his old Grandy robe on ignoring the cat attaching itself to the back of it as he dragged it behind him. Ton wracked his brain for something he could do to help, his Taddy always the first to comfort him when he felt bad. Taddy's bad is a different sort of bad though. Ton knew his brain was different and he would never understand Taddy's hurt, not this one. It was one that didn't show but he knew Taddy ached deep down like a toothache but in his heart. That's how Walty explained it and that made sense.

Sometimes when he has a toothache Taddy heats a little pillow in the microwave, letting him put it against his face to soothe it until they go to the dentist. Ton considered this, then wandered off, going to his big box at the end of his bed where he puts things he had for no apparent reason but really likes.

Ton found what he wanted, one of the Christmas presents one year that he was uninterested in as it was not his colour. It was a little owl, like a soft toy but it is a cushion. A little wheat pillow thing and he read the instructions carefully, walking back into the kitchen to put it in the microwave and wait for the beep.

He is proud of that, being able to use the microwave. Tadda taught him how. Daddy gets him to heat up pies and things sometimes, tells everyone his Best Boy does the best pies. Ton is proud of that too.

He carried the pillow to his poor Tadda now sitting in the sofa with that sad face "Here Tadda. Hold this over your heart, it will help."

Ianto blinked as he accepted the little purple owl, the heady sent of lavender hitting his senses and he knew the tears would come as he held it tightly to his chest.

Rhiannon.

"Where did you get this?" he croaked as he breathed it in and revelled in the simple act that his sister used to do to comfort him as a child. Her own child had done it now.

"In my box of weird stuff. Curty got it for me one time, in with that lavender hand cream I like" Ton smiled as he watched his Taddy cry a bit then settle, letting out the bed feelings.

Then as he had hoped, Ianto held the owl up and laughed softly at it, calling it Oliver the Owl and telling Ton it was a wonderful Owl from a clever man.

Ton liked that too.


	38. "We all need boundaries or how will we know how far to push?"

Curtis looked ready to explode. A cranky toddler in his arms, a little boy taunting him as the older one hung off the back of the sofa screaming at his little brother like he was helping or something.

"LAST WARNING!" Curtis roared "Benjamin, if you do not get off the back of that sofa right now I will put you to bed early without letting you watch your Father on the telly!"

Ben looked horrified as he slid to the seat and sat with his hands in his lap, the very thought of missing the show terrible and he looked over at his brother with a glare to let him know it was his fault if they were in trouble.

Penny stood looking at his Poppy with shock as Curtis turned to face him "And as for you Crispin. You pull that face at me again I will remove the permission slip I signed for your trip to the farm tomorrow as well as no Telly!"

Cue another little bum hitting the sofa with hands in lap.

"And as for you young lady …" Curtis lifted her up and kissed her face, holding her tightly as she finally stopped grizzling, silence soothing her.

"you know" Ton said from the doorway where he stood with the apple pie he had been sent over to deliver "You are lucky your Poppy loves you and knows you need to see your Dadda or you would all be in bed already. Tadda still does that if I have a fit!"

Eyes widened as they stared at Ton, almost a Grup and still get bedtimes too?

"I am sorry, I lost my temper for a moment" Curtis sighed as he accepted the pie, the toddler now on her mat chewing a toy, "I don't like being the Grup."

"We need boundaries. Like my chookies and their fence. They like to run to it and lean in it then run away. Like … they are checking it is still there. They are still safe. If there was no fence they would go mad and probably run on the road and get run over. We like to know where the fences are, we like to check they are still there like mad chookies too. We are safe inside them" Ton smiled and Curtis placed the pie down, pulling Ton into his arms.

"You sounded just like Taddy then, so clever"

Ton thought he might die from happiness.

He was like Taddy.


	39. "They say autism is a spectrum … a rainbow because we are the gold treasure hiding under all the pretty colours!"

 

Penny was swinging his feet as he stared out over the field, this Rocky spot was a good one and he was glad Ton shared.

"So … Poppy and Dadda were talking. They said I have autism" Penny said softly as he stroked the rock, "I don't know what that means but Poppy said it was fine, that it just means I am special."

"They say autism is a spectrum … a rainbow because we are the gold treasure hiding under all the pretty colours!" Ton said from behind him, looking at the other side of the field, "Rainbows are all colours, like us. All different, all brave and strong and so lovely that sometimes Tadda sez we make him want to cry with joy at seeing us shine."

"Really?" Penny canted his head "So … I'm not stupid?"

"No, there is no such thing" Ton snorted "Taddy explained that too. People are all different, their brains are all different and some people know different stuff but not all the same. Like books in different languages. We don't all speak one language, if I had to talk to a German man I would sound stupid coz I don't speak German."

"Imp does"

"Imp is clever, he got Tadda's clever bits" Ton agreed, "But we are rainbows so he can be a star like Walt if he wants to … we get to be in the sunshine with Tadda."

"So … clever people have it too?"

"Yeah. Albert Einstein was on the rainbow. And lots of others … Winston Churchill, he was the Prime Minister ya know. He knows all about the Black Dog Tadda sees in the corner of his eye sometimes. Tadda is clever but still has brain problems. Everyone does."

"I'm on a rainbow" Penny repeated softly as he flopped back, "I like that. Babs likes Rainbows too."

"All the best people are in rainbows, Tadda sez so and when we die we walk over a rainbow bridge to the Valhalla place"

"Wow."

"Yeah. Pretty cool, we are together. We will always be together in the colours of the sunshine"

Penny rolled to hug his best friend, glad they had found one another.

At the end of the rainbow where all the best things hide.


	40. A family is like a piece of music. There are loud notes low notes and out of place ones but when they are all together they are beautiful

 

The place was in chaos, Ianto walking though it all serenely like he was deaf, not a single grimace or glare as they all screamed and roared at one another.

Imp was watching the madness and turned to Ton, "we are all bloody mad!"

"Yeah, but it's great isn't it?" Ton gushed, "Look at Monkey. I didn't know he could stand on his hands like that."

"But no one is listening to one another, they are all just talking" Imp theatrically flopped his hand at the wrist like he was conducting them all and Ton laughed as he pointed at him.

"See? Music. They are making music, even you have to hear it. Tadda does. He says sometimes it's so pretty listening to the world in this room that he wants a recording of it for when he's lonely." Ton smiled "Tadda sez we are instruments in his orchestra. All making the music of life. I think you might be a conductor, since you started this falling over the toy and now they are all off like mad hatters."

"Music" Imp considered "Like … a strange piece of music only one person can hear and like? Like Death Metal that is horrible but … Fredderik likes it?"

"Yeah. Maybe it's my Mama listening up in Valhalla or yours. Who knows … someone somewhere is listening to us, our mad, mad world and crazy and it makes them feel good. Like a pretty piece of music."

"I like that" Imp decided, "I like that lots. We are all instruments. But Tadda has to be the real one in charge, he sets the tone and tempo after all"

"And there ya go, you've lost me. See? I am just an instrument, I don't understand the workings of it all." Ton laughed, "Come on, let's go play the piano."

Soon the noise changed and became a song as they settled and Ianto led them in a song about how wonderful the world is.

Imp has to agree.

Taddy's heart providing the beat.


	41. "I am not just special … I am a limited edition!"

 

Ton was standing nose to nose with Kelvin. The Big Head Shit Bird had been picking on another little kid and Ton had seen. Kelvin was big for his age, a big bossy bully who had forgotten that there was someone in the school bigger, with a heart bigger than the moon.

"So?" Kelvin sneered, noting that there was no Grup in sight "What are you going to do about it retard!"

Ton didn't flinch, even as some other kids did, their mouth falling open as Ben stepped forward and kicked Kelvin in the leg, snarling at him like one of the dogs then another child swung with his spade from the sandpit, catching Kelvin on the elbow.

"What's going on?" River roared as she stepped out the back door of the classroom where she had been dealing with a meltdown inside already to see the spade connect and hear Kelvin's yelp.

"He called Toninator a Retard!" several voices spoke at once, some pointing as another child stepped forward and spat.

"No!" Ton said calmly "Do not spit. Spitting is bad, Taddy sez so."

"He's a tool!"

"He is acting like a turd but I think he needs time to think about it and maybe learn what he is doing wrong" Ton said calmly, "He is just being stupid."

"I'm not stupid!" Kelvin roared, "I am smarter than you! You … you … retard!"

"Stop that!" River said strongly, "Kelvin, go wait at your desk please. Everyone else, calm down. Ton?"

"It's OK" Ton said with a shrug "He didn't hurt me, just used words and he's not that clever because he didn't even use good ones."

"Ton's special, we need to be thankful for him!" Imp spluttered, "If that…that… arsehat does not apologise for using that word I am telling my Walter!"

Silence.

They had all thought he would say Ianto … not Walter. The one they all saw as a big movie star.

"Ton, you are not special" Monkey said as he hung upside down from the guttering and River squeaked as she rushed to get him down, yelling for Mrs Brady who was supposed to be on duty "I know what Ton is. My Dadda had a limited edition car only Babs can drive! Ton is a Limited Edition. Only him in the whole worlds!"

The children all agreed sagely and started to disperse as Monkey moved to stand by Imp, "But Impy is right ya know."

River couldn't resist raising an eyebrow.

"That one in there?" Monkey pointed "Is definitely an arsehat!"


	42. "Sweating is just the fat crying"

 

Sam lay panting on the floor as the two toddlers calmly crawled past and she snorted, her hands rubbing her little bump that showed a third little beast would soon be escaping to freedom as the sliding door beckoned.

Of course there was that wonderful Grandy sitting out there just beyond the door waiting to catch them and they knew it, the determination there in their little faces to see who got the first mock scolding.

"Looking good there sister" Ton said as he stepped over her and kept walking.

"Are you serious?" she panted softly "I am sweating everywhere!"

"Don't worry about that. Sweat is just the fat crying because you are beating it!" Ton threw over his shoulder and she started to laugh as she rolled to her side, looking at Ianto who had caught LB and had her in his lap as little Grace clung to his shirt for balance, standing to look out over the gardens and scream with glee.

Ianto was looking directly at Sam, his face full of affection and she felt such a swell of joy, just a wonderful feeling of belonging that she wondered for a moment how she could possibly have a better moment in time.

Baby kicked.

The first one, her first interaction and she knew it was her love and joy that had rewarded her.

Here in Shangri-La.

Then Ianto was singing, the two little girls squealing with delight as they were told that Old McDonald apparently had a farm.

Sam lay back and joined in.

Then she decided to make her sweat cry some more, this baby was not going to give her a fat arse! No way!

She got to her hands and knees, then started to flex.

Cry you heathen scum!


	43. "In a world where you can be anything …. Be kind"

 

Ton was leaning over singing softly as Ben approached, interested in what his lovely uncle and best friend in the entire universe was doing. He leaned over him, leaning on his back to look over his shoulder down at the little squirrel who stood bravely holding out its paws as it waited. At the conclusion of the 'You are my sunshine" song Ton held out a little carrot. The squirrel snatched it up and popped it into its mouth, then ran for the tree line.

"Whatcha doing?"

"That's Chipper. He comes same time every day at the moment. Likes the song and the treat. I think he was hand raised by someone who released him into the wild" Ton said and Ben nodded, seeing that Ton was having a Big day. A day where his brain was fully activated and he sounded just like a Grup.

"Is he scared?"

"No. I think he has a friend or two, sometimes I see one waiting in the shadows for him and he hands over the carrot. I don't even know if he likes the baby carrots or if they are all for his friends but he sometimes holds my finger for a moment like a handshake" Ton gushed happily "Tadda get the baby carrots specially. In winter he has some in the green house so I can still care for him. Have been for about six months now. I sometimes offer a grape too, he doesn't always eat those though, I think it depends on if he feels like one or not."

"That's a long time" Ben said, "What about when we are not here?"

"Animal leaves treats out, he's a good stick" Ton smiled happily, "Come on. Goaty looks angry, I think he needs an apple cut into segments to feel loved too."

"He's a funny fella" Ben admitted "He ate a whole packet of hamburger buns. Poppy was angry but I explained that it was just the way of the world. Survival of the fittest and all that. He needed it."

"You know Benny, in a world where you can be anything … always be kind" Ton said as he drew him into a hug "That way the world will always turn and there will always be sunsets and sunrises. They need goodness and kindness to happen. The Gods are always happy when they give us a fiery sky of power."

"I like sunsets too" Ben said as he returned the hug "And I like you. So much."

"Thanks partner" Ton smiled as he stroked his face "Us crazies have to stick together in a world full of boring people. We gotta be where the party is."

"And where's that big guy?"

"Wherever we are buddy!" Ton laughed as he led him inside "Wherever we are!"


	44. "Hunger should not be ignored … people have died from it"

 

"Grandy?" Penny whined softly as he slumped against the doorway "My house has no raw toast and I am starving for some."

"Starving for bread are you?" Ianto said absently as he reached for the bread bin and Ton beat him.

"It' OK buddy, I got you covered. Honey or jam?"

"Oh gods, I would give my left big toe for peanut butter man!" Penny said theatrically lifting his foot to show he was more than willing if Ton decided to whip out a knife for the extraction. Ton worked quickly to save his nephew form certain doom as Ianto settled to watch the red plates coming out and more sandwiches joining in along with some grapes and even a peeled orange.

"Oh Tonny. You are so good at that." Penny gushed as he followed him to the table and pulled the chair out, scrambling up to watch the plates get set out.

"Drink?"

"Oh yes please!" Penny squealed, looking at Ianto and then clasping his hands and lowering his head.

Ianto did not do this at his table but knew Curtis allowed something Penny had done for the first years of his life and believed it was up to him to decide if he ever wanted to stop, so Ianto shook out his paper and started to read as Penny spoke softly "Thank you to the great writer of my book for the wonderful chapter you are writing today."

Ianto glanced at him with surprise as the prayer had definitely changed from the religious God one he had heard in the past. Seems the boy was deciding after all.

"Thank you for my lovely Tonny and my wonderful food. Thank you for my family and for always trying to find a way to make us happy even if we are a bit crazy sometimes" Penny paused, then finished with "And thank you for letting me be part of this big book called Harkness-Jones. I know there will be other books and other people in the chapters of my life but please don't forget to add more Ton here and there."

"Here, Here" Ianto said softly and Penny lit up as his Grandy accepted the prayer as a good one. He hadn't said it before and he eagerly bit into some sandwich with a hum of happiness.

Perfect.

Ya can't write stuff so good.


	45. "Gloves always come in pairs"

 

"But… Michael Jackson only wore one!" Imp argued as he searched in vain for its mate.

"But that's Michael Jackson. He was a one of a kind, his signature thing was the glove. You can't copy a signature. It's called forgery" Ton said knowingly.

"If it's only one is it a pant?" Imp paused to wonder, "You know … like only one leg or something? Like … only one of the Finger Pants?"

"Gloves. They are gloves and there can be a single glove…. If you are Michael Jackson!" Ton said sternly "Do not yank my necklace on this one!"

"OK old man, don't get your trousers in a tango!" Imp laughed "You are sooo snappy today."

Ton looked at himself and shrugged "Ta, Taddy helped with the shoes."

Imp realised that Ton had misunderstood the term and laughed happily, knowing it was probably the right way to take it anyway "Tadda always helps with shoes. He has so many."

"I like the shiny silver ones with the open toes … did you know I misunderstood that once? Thought it was opened toads?" Ton laughed, "I was so angry I could have spewed'

"Like …. How many toads would it take to make shoes?" Imp asked and Ton pointed at him.

"Exactly! Thank you. You see my problem? I was so angry. Of course Open Toed means a hole in the end of the shoes so you can see the toes and toenails. Babs does have nice toenails."

"Tadda helps with that too" Imp nodded, "Do you think he would do mine if I asked?"

"Don't see why not, he did Daddy's last night."

"Really?" Imp canted his head "Daddy has painted nails?"

"Purple" Ton smiled, "Taddy was telling him he was purple for passion. A Date night coming up"

"I think it's nice that they still date … at their ages" Imp sniffed, looking at his shirt like he didn't know he was wearing it until now.

Yeah. I don't know it I want to date when I'm old. I mean … so much work. I think I will just be happy to have Taddy give me cuddles" Ton agreed and both boys wandered into the back yard where sad Taddy was on his knees weeding.

"Tadda? Is one leg of pants called a pant?"

"Pants, comes from Pantaloons, the proper term for pants. Yes, a single leg only is called a pant, but only since the 1930s when women started wearing body suits with just one leg to look different." Ianto said as he continued to weed.

"Well. You learn something every day" Ton said softly.

"So. A Finger Pant then!" Imp said as he looked at his glove and Ton rolled his eyes in a fair imitation of their Tad.

This argument would rage for some time.


	46. "It's not the end until it says the end"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wrong chap .. now fixed

 

Ton was standing there looking at the book Ianto was laying out with interest, "It's really the last ones? We are almost there? I mean … I like the cake one at the beginning like I asked but … the colours might not all match. Do I have much more to do?"

"Well … you did give your brother the last word which was sweet of you but yes … maybe you get one more so you can finish on an odd number" Ianto said as he considered "Always best to end on an odd number I think. Odd is more interesting."

"I agree" Ton smiled as he settled back to watch his Taddy put a couple of pages around the other way, the book covering the entire run of one wall on the special boards Taddy had them on and the colours seemed right all of a sudden. Tadda was so good at this. Ton frowned "I think I need to think about this .. .I mean … it's important, the last page. Imp gets the last saying though, his poem or whatever. He is the baby brother. He is the last word really."

"Yes love, he's not given it to me yet but I know he is working on it."

"So … when will it be the end?"

"When it says so on that last board there that is empty. I think an entire page with those two little words" Ianto agreed and Ton hummed happily,

"It's not over until it's over. It's not the end until it says The End. I like that!" Ton said as he tapped a finger to his chin pensively. Tadda does that sometimes when he is thinking. It seems to help.

"Thought you might" Ianto said softly as he turned to watch his Best Boy stalk a cat by the windows. This book had been long and hard, time consuming for Ianto who sweated each page and photo more than Ton did. Now came the hard part.

Ianto had to sell it.

And damn it all … he would push all the way.

Until the bitter end.


	47. "A promise kept is a wish created"

" **A promise kept is a wish created"**

Imp stood there with wide eyes as he regarded his brother "You still sure?"

"I promised. A promise is like … a wish or something. Each time you keep a promise. You have a better chance of a wish coming true" Ton said as he considered "That makes sense. Right?"

"Yeah. Well … here it is. Hope you like it, best I could do" Imp shoved it at his bother and took off, the embarasement clear as Ton wondered what it was, turning the page over to stare at the poem his brother had created all on his own, not even with Tadda Assistance.

It was about him.

Imp had written a poem … a real and honest poem about him.

Ton.

Wow.

Ton read it, then read it again and clutched it to his chest, and then he went in search of his Taddy who took the page and read it, his face showing that he had the same reaction as Ton, loving it.

"Wow. This is the last one? A photo should be of you and Imp together then?" Ianto asked and Ton lit up, he hadn't considered the photo and they rushed of find it.

The right one.

They poured over photos until Ton was pleased with one of the two of them standing in the back field, half naked in the rain with their arms around each other laughing. Ton's glasses were lost somewhere again and they looked like brothers should.

Loving.

"Right then" Ianto sighed, "I gotta get this done before I go all gooey here. Who would have thought he loves you THAT much, eh?"

"Yeah" Ton said softly, "I am so …so…happy."

Ianto waited Until Ton had left the room before handing the page to Jack who sat back to read it with glee, smiling as he saw how clever his boy was, this wonderful little Imp who was such a chip off the old block.

Wonderful really.

Ianto smiled as he went to answer the phone. The number recognised as the publishers and he hoped this is good news.

He really wanted it to be.


	48. "Family means fighting for someone else's dream"

" **Family means fighting for someone else's dream"**

Ton watched his Taddy hang up the phone then slowly turn to look at his Daddy with wide eyes.

"Babe?"

"They have a contract all sorted. They are excited to showcase a new Harness-Jones venture and have said they will do whatever I want with a book launch as well" Ianto smiled.

"Well done"

"Well, I have to get this damned book finished then" Ianto looked around with concern, "I have to find Ton."

"Here behind the sofa" Ton popped up "Did you say they are gonna do it?"

"Are they ever!" Ianto crowed "I told them … publish my boy's wonderful book or no more of mine!"

"Oh Taddy … that was naughty of you" Ton said with wide eyes "Your books are important."

"So is yours" Ianto said with a nod of finality.

"Well … thank you Taddy" Ton smiled happily as he looked back at the boards still lining the wall.

"You are important. Your dreams are important. I am your Taddy. One of my jobs as a Taddy is to make sure your dreams come true." Ianto told him "That's what families do. We help one another realise our dreams."

"And what about yours" Ton asked "what about your dreams."

"Oh darling, mine already came true when I wished for you." Ianto gently stroked his face, "My husband .. my children…this life. I have no more unrealised dreams. I have all I need and all I want and even more for spare happiness."

"Wow, no wonder you sit in the Throne Room sometimes. A lot of stuff to be happy about, you might explode" Ton smiled.

"Yes darling" Ianto laughed "Exactly."

Jack was happy to hear what he had wondered about … if Ianto was OK. Happy is a strong word to use, happiness is something not always bandied about as Ianto still has funky days.

But don't we all?

"I love you Tiger Pants" Jack said softly and Ianto blushed as he swung to look at him with a coy grin.

"And I love you my handsome Captain" Ianto gushed, "Look at us … all loved up."

"Perfect really" Ianto laughed as Ton walked over to switch a couple of boards.

It was almost done.


	49. "You don't have to be complete to shine!"

 

Ton looked at all the people who had gathered and he cleared his throat then stepped forward.

"Hello everyone. Thanks for coming out to my launch lunch. Now, I practiced that"

People smiled softly as he grinned then looked back to his speech "Where was I? Ah. Here. Right. My name is Carlton Harkness-Jones. Ton to those who know me because Taddy says I am more than a lapful."

Tittering started as he grinned and pushed his glasses up his nose, back to his notes.

"Right … now. I was a bit worried that it was not finished … I wanted more pages but Taddy told me that the moon does not have to be full to shine down her love on us. I thought about that and saw that he was right. My book might not be as good as some but it is better than some others … well … some I have read that I will not name. Anywhoo … ah … in the way of the Harkness-Jones Clan I thank you all and tell you that there is foodage over there. Taddy did it but I chose the cake. Of course. Please see page one!"

Laughter as everyone knew full well what the first page was and Ton glowed as he looked at all the people there, not just his village but others, some he did not even know and he added "I will talk to all of you and hope you all want to talk to me. I love making friends because that is my favourite thing to do. I do not think I will do another book. I will leave that to Taddy …all that time staring at things get your head a bit mushy ya know."

Soft laughter as everyone watched Ianto face palm over to one side.

"Now … let's cut that cake" Ton pointed at the cake shaped like a book, then he paused "No. Wait … I promised my little brother the last word since he is the cleverest of all of us. Imp, come read your poem that is the apology to the book."

"Epilogue" Imp rolled his eyes and everyone Awwwwwwed as they saw a miniature Ianto, down to the glasses on the end of his nose. A new thing but not a bad thing as he knew all the best people had glasses. Tad. Dad. Ton.

He read his poem and then they cut the cake!

Brilliant.


	50. Imp's last word

If the road gets too long and windy,

You don't know where your next rest will be

Come sit by me under the Wilding tree

For always brothers we will be

.

I don't care what others people think or say

I have no worries about what they do

I know if I call you name you will come stand by me

Make their lies die away as you speak true

.

You are my brother, Ton

You are my friend

No matter what happens in the world

You will be with me until the end

.

One day it will be just you and me

Two old farts in our chairs

Watching reruns of Walter's sucky show

Cheering whenever we are guesting on there

.

Some say you are different and I know you are

You are the Best Boy you can be

I don't care what they think if we still hold hands

You will always belong with me

.

You are my brother, Ton

You are my friend

No matter what happens in the world

You will be with me until the end

.

Girls may come and go,

Weddings, births and dreams

I don't know who I will love in my Grup life

But I do now you will be there with me

.

So don't worry about tomorrow,

We still have today

And tomorrow will be here soon enough

Always a day away

.

You are my brother, Ton

You are my friend

No matter what happens in the world

You will be with me until ...

.

THE END


End file.
